Spring Break

Look at these beautiful little faces and tell me that you could leave all of the most important moments of their childhood in the hands of someone else:

I miss these little guys so much. This week was spring break for Shepherd University, and we took a trip to Pittsburgh to visit family and friends. We visited with my friend Jenny from high school. She has three little girls, and it was load of fun. They have a bouncy house and a kiddie Escalade, and Joseph and Andrew were pretty excited!

Friday night, we spent the night at Grandma's house. We ordered pizza, met Grandma's friend Louise, and watched Noggin. Saturday was a super fun-filled day: We went to the children's museum, and it was great to see the boys having so much fun. On the way home from the museum, we stopped at a really neat thrift store and got a bunch of new books and toys.

Saturday night we spent the evening at Aunt Ginny's. She made us some delicious dinner and Joseph and Andrew loved playing with Uncle Scott and the big toy box. Aunt Ginny also had some decorations that the boys thought were "coconuts," and when I took my eyes off of them for two seconds, they had unraveled the "coconuts" (a.k.a. balls of yarn) from one end of the house to the other. I regret that I didn't get any photos of this...

Sunday morning, we went to church with Ginny and Scott. Afterwards, we went back to Grandma and Grandpa's to have some lunch before we traveled home. Grandpa happens to be an electrical genius, and he fixed one of Joseph's "new" toys that was broken. Then we headed back to wild and (sometimes) wonderful West Virginia.

Tomorrow I have to go back to school, which means that the boys go back to daycare. I cannot even begin to describe the way that my heart aches. Of course I always knew that I loved my children, but I honestly don't think that I realized how much until this week.

For several weeks prior to spring break, I had been throwing around the idea of quitting school after this semester. Being home and spending time with my children has just reinforced my feelings on the matter. I can't do it...I can't go back. My children need their mother. They need someone who can devote all of her time to them; to nourish them spiritually and intellectually; to give them guidance and direction; they need the mother that their Father in heaven intended for them.

I can't be a nurturer and a student and do both well. Right now, my children are getting half a mother and my professors are getting half a student. I hate that I have to choose, but I will always choose my family above all else. Heavenly Father has entrusted me to care for these sweet little boys, and this is the most important test I will be given in this life. David O. McKay said, "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." Now is not the time for me to succeed academically. A piece of paper that says that I made straight A's is not going to matter if I am doing a terrible job as a mother while I work to achieve those grades.

So, after this semester, I have officially decided that I am going to take a hiatus from academic life. Yes, call me a failure as a student. I've only had about a hundred different majors and still no diploma. But I refuse to be a failure as a mother - and that's what really matters.